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Thursday, October 31, 2019

Review: The Manager Mom Epidemic by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, PhD #sourcebooks #managermomepidemic #thomasphelan #bookreview #paperback

(product photo courtesy of www.sourcebooks.com)

 Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, PhD
$16.99 US

If you are a mom who does everything, this book is for you. From the author who brought you 1-2-3 Magic!; Thomas W. Phelan PhD brings you the book for moms who do everything for their families, sacrificing their own happiness and lives to keep the family unit running smoothly. The Manager Mom Epidemic: How Moms Got Stuck Doing Everything for Their Families and What They Can Do About It is a book written expressly for moms who are overworked and overlooked. 

Deny if you must, but most moms continue to do way more household work and childcare than most dads. Working full time, raising kids, cooking dinner and making sure every appointment and activity is lined up and everyone gets there on time is usually resting on the feet of the mom. No wonder they are so tired. Despite all of this, the crushing mental and emotional load it places on the mother, nobody has come up with a plan to actually change things. Until now. Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, PhD discusses in The Manager Mom Epidemic not only  that moms are burnt out but he shows ow to transfer responsibility for daily tasks from mom to the partner and the kids. Clinical psychologist and child discipline expert, Dr. Phelan explains how we got into this "mess" in the first place and and we can get through ti in a calm, systematic approach to teaching our families how to take the initiative and contribute in meaningful ways. He walks you through real-life situations and shows you how to step back from the things that are dragging you down. 

For example: 
  • The Maternal Identity: the things you tell yourself you have to do in order to be a "good"mom
  • The oppressive trap of chronic supervision
  • Society's curious underestimation of children's capabilities
  • How to eliminate primary childcare with tweens and teens
  • How to manage resistant or traditionalist dads
All of this is realistic and simple enough to implement in your home right away. The book provides a road map for you to take back your life and proves that the happiest families share the work and the fun equally.

I am very familiar with Dr. Phelan's work, I used 1-2-3 Magic! on my children as a discipline tool when they were little. Before I became disabled, I was one of those mothers, working and doing the cooking, cleaning and everything else. Luckily, I became disabled and our household became overturned immediately and we had to rely on my ex-husband and kids equally to help me do a lot of things. You would be surprised at what a kid can accomplish on their own when thrust into a situation. My 11 year old suddenly had to do the grocery shopping for our family. This is the child who taught herself to ride a bike at age 5, so I wasn't worried about her. So my ex-husband would take her and he would do half and she would do half of it until she learned the entire store and then he would drop her off with the money and she did the whole entire store by herself. Now she is 20 years old. She has always been very independent and can do the grocery shopping, pays bills, holds down a very good full time job on commission and can live basically on her own. My youngest, who is 18, is not as self-sufficient yet. She can do the grocery shopping, for what she wants but is generally more selfish because of her OCD, ADHD and mild Tourette's syndrome. She cleans the house and gets compensated for that. She also works and is going to school for environmental science. Cleaning for her is second nature, so that was an easy chore to provide her with. 

If it wasn't for my tumor, we wouldn't have this segregation of duties in our house. Luckily, my tumor wasn't malignant. But it is the same principle of which Dr. Phelan discusses. Divide and conquer. No mother needs to feel overwhelmed at doing everything. It is our responsibility to raise children who are capable adults in the world and if we coddle them too much, they will not be capable and responsible adults. My parents raised me to be independent and didn't coddle me in any way. I felt the same about my children. Give them responsibilities that are good for their age: washing dishes, washing their laundry, making the bed for staring out when they are 4-5 years old. Then increase the chores as they age. It is also important for their self esteem so that they feel that they can accomplish tasks. Without this, kids go out into the world feeling as if they cannot do anything. Then they come back home and say to their parents,"I don't know how to live". 

I really enjoyed this book. If you are living The Manager Mom Epidemic, then get out of that rut and give your significant other and children some chores to do. Trust me, they will love you for it and they will feel independent and strong.

The Manager Mom Epidemic retails for $16.99 paperback. It can be purchased online through www.sourcebooks.com, www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com. This book will be published on 12/03/2019. 

Until Next Time~

Marie Papachatzis
Follow Me On Instagram:iamthemakeupjunkie

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